Let’s start with trying to define who you are.

You finished a university a few years ago. You are smart, fast and capable to solve problems. Voila… You have a good job at a great Company. You spend long hours in the office and have lots of interesting projects that keep you busy and give that great feeling of fulfillment. Your colleagues like to work with you and your boss frequently tells you that your achievements are really appreciated and that there is a big future for you. You feel happy.

Of course, work is not 100% of your life. On week-ends you spend time with friends talking, dancing, travelling and having great fun. Life is just great! And then… you meet HIM. HE is most probably also young bright professional who works hard, is interesting to talk to and you certainly enjoy your time together. Time flies! After a while… HE proposes. This is very new to you, exciting and … scary. Family? Kids maybe? But how about my job? Will I have time and capacity to combine it all? The answer is YES, YOU WILL.

So here is your STEP # 1: When you fall in love with the right guy and the feeling is mutual GO AND START A FAMILY.

OK, decision made. You have beautiful wedding, nice honeymoon and then both are back to work. You notice that life has changed slightly. When you come back home in the evening, you can’t just sit on the sofa and relax. You need to talk to HIM and be an interesting company. But that’s not a problem, you love him and everything is just so new!!! Sooner or later you find out the biggest news of your life… Yes, you share it with HIM and he is so happy!

After a baby is born, the life changes dramatically. You are tired of sleepless nights, you don’t belong to yourself anymore at all, you still have to be attentive to HIM and you feel like it’s the end of the world. (Don’t worry, it will change and you will be back your normal self!).

Baby grows a little and after 3-6-12-18 month you feel like maybe you are ready to go back to work. Yes, you will need a daycare or a babysitter and that’s expensive. So big part of your salary will be spent just on that. Does it make sense? Plus you may not see how your baby makes the first step or say the first word. Are you such a bad woman and mother? At this moment if HE is still good at his work and keeps progressing, the proposal will follow “Listen, we are doing fine and I earn enough. Anyway, you will spend your money on babysitter. And our little one will desperately miss you, (s)he needs you all the time! Why don’t you stay at home and take care of the family? And I will make sure you feel safe and secure!”

Of course it is easy to accept this proposal. It makes sense and HE is very convincing. Not mentioning that you enjoy your little hour or two during the day when you can have a little nap if the baby is sleeping. Careful!!! He will not tell you at that moment that in a few years he will completely loose interest in you because your world will be centered around the house, kid’s school and stupid TV programs. And is a few more years… Your market value will be close to zero and your personality value will be… sorry for saying that.

Obviously, your STEP # 2 is: go back to work when the baby is reasonably grown up (but not later than in 12 months, because we are living in a rapidly changing environment).

You have to spend half of your salary (or more) on babysitter and work hard. The bad news is that you won’t have time to sleep much. It will not be easy. The kid will be sick from time to time and usually on the day when you have very important meeting or need to go for a business trip. HE may look at you with a sad face as if you are guilty for betraying the family. The non-working moms at school will judge you for not being present at all the kid’s performances. And make all those faces every time you show up.

And of course at work people will expect a lot from you regardless of how long you slept last night. And you have to deliver because that’s how you are, whatever you do, you do it well. At certain moment you may feel destroyed. And before making any harsh moves, make a

STEP # 3: get yourself female support circle!

There are for sure women around you who are more senior and have been through all that already. They can be your older successful female colleagues, a friend (or a friend of a friend) whose experience you value or a professional coach. The important part is that those women can reassure you in a few important things.

Things like … One day your efforts will pay back! You will feel satisfied and fulfilled. Your horrizons will be broad, you will travel the world and will be able to manage any conversation be it politics, business issue, marcoeconomics or Prada shoes. But even more importantly, your teenage kid will proudly tell his friends “My mom knows great people!” or “My mom is doing very interesting thing!” or something like that. And they all will respect you and look for your company. Because you are INTERESTING and they find value in what you share with them.

And HE… If HE is as good as your thought at the beginning, he will be proud of you, will respect and love you. But… if you made a mistake… the world will be yours!